That’s a funny response. Let’s say mashed potatoes. What’s a good way to do that?
Never use a mixer. Never use a hand blender.
Why never use a hand blender?
Because it just makes it gummy. The heat from the blade makes the starch come out and it becomes sticky. People use hand blenders because it is easier for them. Use a wooden spoon and try to put as much fucking butter as you can possibly, physically, do. There’s no ratio – just keep adding butter and stir until you get fucking blisters. I swear, when I make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving, I always know that I’m going to get blisters because I’m stirring with a wooden spoon and adding butter.
So, I’m writing this down. Until you see callouses and blood…
Absolutely. There’s no way that you can add all the butter at once because it gets greasy. Do it one piece at a time and keep stirring. With the wooden spoon, it’s really cool because you don’t incorporate any more heat from the blade and there’s no spinning. I’m trying to figure out a way to put more butter in mashed potatoes than humanely possible. Mashed potatoes are all about butter. The potatoes are just a vehicle by which the butter is consumed!
Let’s say you have a pound of potatoes. How much butter are we talking about?
Ideally, you can really incorporate a pound of butter. But that’s really hard to do. I am trying to figure out a method to incorporate equal parts butter in mashed potatoes, but I can’t.
What is this method?
I’m using a little bit of chemicals – a little bit of of xanthan gum. But then, when you use those, you need to rehydrate them in the mashed potatoes, which you can only do with a hand blender. I’m trying to figure out ways to add them to the butter before I add the butter.
So you will create some sort of magical Thanksgiving butter?
Oh, it’s so fluffy and so nice. You just have to do it by hand. Here is the deal with mashed potatoes: if you put a bowl of mashed potatoes in front of people and it doesn’t have enough fat, people just keep eating that shit and eating starch. If you put a lot of butter in there, they will have two tablespoons and be done.
But let’s be straight here. You’re not endorsing eating like, a pound of butter.
I’ll give you an example. For 12 people, I’ll use maybe two pounds of potatoes and that’s it. There may even be leftovers. They will have a little bit and it’s so rich and fulfilling. It’s delicious and you’re just happy after two or three bites. If you make it plain without a lot of butter and margarine, you just keep eating and eating, and you will end up feeling stuffed. They will keep eating it if it doesn’t have enough fat and feel sick afterwards.